What a difference a year made.

Whenever I think about how uncomfortable I feel, how I am ready to deliver, or how big I must look, I try to stop and remember that I'm actually quite lucky. In just a few short weeks, we'll be meeting Katie. The aches and pains are worth it. The insomnia is worth it. The bad morning sickness/headaches/exhaustion were just a blip on the screen.

At this time last year, we were going through something very difficult. Out of nowhere, I began miscarrying when I was only 7 weeks pregnant. We'll never know why it happened, especially after getting a few good ultrasounds and seeing a heartbeat. I don't mention the miscarriage very often at all, but I still think of that baby often, and sometimes wonder...what would our lives be like if we hadn't lost him/her?

I remember having mixed emotions, feeling grief and hopelessness, anger and confusion. I wanted to shut out the world for a few days. Most of all, my heart just plain hurt. I would have given anything to keep that pregnancy.

Time helped. Talking to other moms was also a saving grace. I didn't feel alone. We're incredibly lucky and blessed to have gotten pregnant within a short period of time afterwards. I feel like we've come such a long way. This pregnancy has been a careful one. I feel paranoid sometimes, because I know that anything can happen. I try not to dwell on it, though, but it's hard. The blissful ignorance that I had with Jamie is gone.

So far, everything has been fine. I've been lucky to not experience any complications, although I've made plenty of phone calls to my doctor, out of sheer panic. I'm healthy, Katie's healthy, everything is right on track and next Monday, I'll officially be considered full term at 37 weeks.

We're excited. Jamie can't stop talking about his baby sister, and he's proud to be taking on the role as the big brother.

Sometimes it hits me that very soon, we'll have a newborn in the house. It hits me like a ton of bricks and seems surreal. I look around and I see the nursery, and assorted baby gear, and piles of blankets....and I think it won't really set in until she's home. It makes me a little teary eyed to think about that, but I really am feeling so lucky to have another chance at this. I'll try not to complain as much. Because really...I don't have a thing to complain about.